


currents

by queenglimmahs



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018) Season 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-17
Updated: 2020-12-17
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:14:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28119021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenglimmahs/pseuds/queenglimmahs
Summary: Despite a lifetime of practice, Mermista still struggled with goodbyes.-Or, Mermista decides to end things with Sea Hawk for good after the Princess Alliance falls apart, only to find that she can't. Takes place after "The Beacon."
Relationships: Mermista & Sea Hawk (She-Ra), Mermista/Sea Hawk (She-Ra)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 26





	currents

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alysurr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alysurr/gifts).



> For Aly, whose cat makes a cameo in this by the way. ;) Thanks for the encouragement. <3

She should have known that the second Princess Alliance would be as disastrous as its predecessor.

Mermista was half-submerged in the bath, her mermaid tail draped over the edge of the tub. She had been there for hours now, ever since Sea Hawk had taken her home. After everything that had happened- the chaos of Princess Prom, their rescue mission that had spiraled out of control, Entrapta's loss- the Princess of Salineas had been desperate to find some sort of sanctuary for herself, a place where she could allow herself to be vulnerable and sink into her feelings without a witness. The bottom of the tub had been the perfect place of refuge; not only was it private, but, as Mermista knew from experience, no one would be able to hear her cry if she did so underwater.

She had stayed at the bottom of the tub for a while, letting all of it out as she'd sat there: the ugly sobs, the screams, the expletives. By the time she'd finished, her body had felt weak, as though the outburst had drained her of all her energy, and it had taken her a minute to find the strength to push herself upwards and break the surface of the water. Once she had resurfaced, she'd glanced towards the bathroom window, only to find that the world had grown dark since she'd sunk to the bottom of the tub. Mermista had briefly wondered then how long she had been submerged for, before realizing that she didn't care.

Maybe she was better off not caring. Caring, it seemed, only ever led to pain.

She felt her heart ache then as her mind began to fill with images of her grief-stricken friends, images that she didn't want to see because it was all over now, the alliance was _finished_. How foolish she had been, believing that a second Princess Alliance could have ever worked. There was a reason it had fallen apart before; like Perfuma had said on the ride home, being together made them vulnerable. It was a realization that Mermista should have made sooner, as she, of all people, had the experience to know that attachments were a weakness. Her father had taught her that lesson when he'd left.

A new feeling started to simmer in the pit of her stomach then, one that she quickly recognized as anger, and she immersed herself in the water once more before letting out an angry huff. A flurry of bubbles shot forth from her nostrils, and Mermista watched as they quickly made their way up to the surface before disappearing.

Why did she keep putting her faith in other people? She felt her cheeks burn for a moment as the memory of She-Ra fixing the Sea Gate flashed before her eyes. She had chosen to believe in She-Ra, to entertain the idea that maybe this new princess was the secret ingredient to making the alliance work the second time around, and now she was paying the price for her ignorance. She was angry and alone and _heartbroken_ , and honestly, she deserved it.

She wouldn't make the same mistake again. She _couldn't_.

She stayed there at the bottom of the tub for a few minutes, with only her self-loathing to keep her company, before finally resurfacing once more. The Princess of Salineas let out a long sigh then before lifting herself out of the tub and walking over to the towel rack on newly-transformed legs. She unceremoniously pulled a towel off the rack before wrapping it around herself.

She dried herself off rather hastily, only to find that she was shivering when she was done. It took her a moment to realize why: her bathroom window was open. She scowled, silently cursing herself for being too preoccupied to notice this earlier, before going over to close it. She grabbed the window sash to pull it down, only to stop what she was doing when her eyes landed on the familiar boat in the water below.

Of course he was here. He must have sailed back to Salineas while she was in the tub.

She stared at the Dragon's Daughter IV for a few minutes, a strange, almost numb feeling filling her chest as she did so, before finally slamming the window shut and walking away. Her eyes were starting to sting again, and she furiously blinked back her newest tears as she made her way to her bedroom. Once she was inside, she locked the door behind her before yanking her towel off and tossing it aside.

As she got dressed, her heart ached at the thought of what she knew she had to do. Despite a lifetime of practice, Mermista still struggled with goodbyes. When the skiff had arrived in Salineas earlier that day, she hadn't even said goodbye to the other princesses. Instead, once the stolen vehicle had gotten close enough to the surface of the water, she had silently jumped off, refusing to look back at the alliance she'd abandoned until she had reached the shore.

Sea Hawk, however, deserved a proper goodbye. She owed him one, after everything they had been through together.

She pulled on a pair of shoes, trying to ignore the growing shakiness of her breath, before making her way over to the door. She hesitated for a moment before unlocking it and slipping out of the room, reminding herself all the while that this was something that had to be done.

It wasn't hard to sneak down to the water; the castle was still fairly understaffed, and even if someone had seen her, the look on Mermista's face would have been enough to keep them from bothering her. As the Dragon's Daughter IV came into view, she felt her chest begin to tighten. For a brief moment, she couldn't help but wonder if she was really going to go through with this. After all, maybe there was still a chance that it wouldn't have to end like this. Maybe there was still a way that she could keep him in her life. Maybe-

_No. Come on, Mermista._

Desperate for a distraction, she tried to focus instead on the way the moonlight hit the surface of the water; it was a tranquil image, one that contrasted sharply with the increasingly frantic beating of her heart.

She was only a few feet away from the boat when something small and furry suddenly darted out in front of her, almost causing her to trip. Mermista let an involuntary yelp, as did the stray cat before it sprinted off into the night.

“Fuck,” she hissed, steadying herself before glancing over at the Dragon’s Daughter IV once more. There was no way Sea Hawk hadn't heard the commotion and realized she was there. Now she had no choice but to get on the damn boat and talk to him; there was no turning back.

Trying not to shake, she took her last few steps towards the boat before climbing aboard and making her way over to the cabin entrance. She couldn’t help but swallow as she noticed that the door had been left unlocked. She took a deep breath, trying not to think about the implications of that, before opening the door completely and entering the cabin.

The sound of her closing the door behind her was enough to alert Sea Hawk to her presence. He looked up from where he had been sitting on the cabin sofa, his eyes quickly landing on her. Mermista noticed with a heavy heart that, despite everything that had happened that day, the sight of her was somehow still enough to make his eyes light up. Sea Hawk rose to his feet then before starting to approach her.

"Dearest-"

She quickly held up a hand before he could finish; the gesture was enough to make him stop in his tracks. He remained in place, as though waiting for further instructions from her, as an uneasy silence began to settle in the air between them. A minute or so passed before Mermista made her way over to him, stopping once she was a foot or so away from him.

She swallowed before finally beginning to speak.

"You shouldn't feed the strays, you know."

They weren't the words she had been planning to say, but they were the only ones she could get to come out of her mouth at the moment.

"You're just encouraging them to stick around. I almost tripped over one of them just now," she added then, her voice strangely hollow as she spoke.

Sea Hawk looked perplexed for a moment before a look of realization crossed his face.

"Sailor was giving you trouble, huh?"

"... you named the fucking cat?"

"I've named all of the strays in Salineas, dearest," he replied, a small smile appearing on his face then, "but only Sailor has a particularly bad habit of getting underfoot." He glanced down then, a hint of concern in his eyes as they landed on her ankles.

"Are you alright? Sailor can be a tricky lass. In fact, I've almost twisted my ankle once or twice because of her-"

" _Sea Hawk._ "

There was a bit of an edge to her voice now as she spoke. Mermista couldn't help it; the longer this nonsensical conversation went on, the harder it was becoming for her to go through with this.

Sea Hawk lifted his head back up then, his eyes meeting hers. Mermista quickly looked off to the side in response; even the thought of maintaining eye contact with him was suddenly becoming too much to bear.

"We need to talk," she heard herself tell him. As she spoke, she began to absentmindedly run a hand through her hair; she usually didn't wear it down like this, but she hadn't thought to tie it up in her usual braid before leaving the castle.

"About what happened in the Fright Zone?" 

Even though she wasn't looking at him, Mermista could tell that Sea Hawk's face had suddenly grown soft.

"Of course, dearest. We can talk about that-"

"No."

Mermista realized she was starting to tremble. She swallowed once more, as though this single action would somehow be enough to help her keep her composure.

"We need to talk about _this_. Us," she clarified. 

There was a guilty feeling forming rather quickly in the pit of her stomach now. She hesitated before forcing herself to look back at him once more; as difficult as it was for her to do so, she knew that he deserved transparency. To her surprise, the look on Sea Hawk's face was one of understanding, and for a moment, Mermista couldn't help but wonder if he already knew what she had come here to say. Maybe, just maybe, the dreaded words wouldn't have to fall from her lips after all-

_No._

She felt her chest tighten again, and she dropped the hand she had been running through her hair to her side. She tried to remind herself that she had to do this, that cutting all of her ties was the right thing to do. With the alliance over, she would have to protect Salineas on her own now. She couldn't afford to have any weaknesses that the Horde might exploit, and the truth was, while Mermista had always claimed that her weakness was fire (a believable claim, considering that she was the "water princess" and all), her weakness was actually-

Sea Hawk pulled her out of her thoughts then with a single word.

"Alright."

He made a gesture towards the cabin sofa, a silent invitation for the two of them to sit down there. Mermista hesitated again before complying, against her better judgment, and the two of them sat in silence for a few minutes. Finally, Mermista turned her head slightly in an attempt to face him, only to find that she couldn't, despite her best intentions. Instead, her eyes lingered on the cabin floor, and she tried her hardest not to notice the tears that were now forming as she finally broke the silence between them.

"We can't do this anymore."

The air around them felt so _heavy_.

"Whatever it is that we've been doing these past few years... it has to end."

Her tears were getting harder to ignore now. Embarrassed, Mermista lifted a hand up to her face to wipe them away, only to become distracted by the small chill that ran down her spine a second later when she felt Sea Hawk gently place a hand on her knee. Something about the gesture gave her the push she needed to face him; she lowered her hand then before lifting her head up to meet his gaze.

It was strange, seeing the subdued expression on his face now, when he was usually so exuberant.

"I had a feeling you would come to tell old Sea Hawk it was over. Of course, I was hoping that you would prove me wrong," he added then, a wistful look in his eyes as he spoke.

Mermista felt like her entire chest was _aching_.

"Is that why you left your door unlocked?" she finally asked him in response, after what felt like an eternity.

He nodded, just like she knew he would; Mermista's heart sank into her stomach at the sight of it.

"And what if it hadn't been me who showed up?"

The words came out much harsher than she had intended them to.

"What if it had been one of your 'associates' or whatever? You know, someone who wouldn't hesitate to-"

She stopped then, her throat suddenly too thick for her to continue. She looked away again, new tears beginning to fall from her eyes. She didn't bother wiping them away this time.

"Mermista." Sea Hawk paused for a moment before lifting his hand off her knee so he could brush her tears away with his thumb.

"Mermista, I'm sorry," he said, his voice soft. "I'll keep the door locked from now on, I promise-"

"You don't get it." 

It took her a moment to realize that the voice she'd heard just now was her own. Mermista took Sea Hawk's hand then, pulling it away from her face before dropping it onto his lap.

"Stuff like that is _exactly_ why we have to end this," she said, her voice quivering despite her best efforts to sound firm. She clenched her fists in a poor attempt to steady herself.

"One of these days, something bad is going to happen to you-"

It was suddenly getting hard to breathe, yet somehow, she managed to deliver the remainder of her sentence, the words flowing forth from her lips like a tidal wave.

"- and then you'll be _gone_ , just like everybody else!"

In the wake of her unexpected outburst, the cabin fell silent. Mermista's entire body felt hot, to the point that it was uncomfortable. She silently debated whether she should leave the cabin and jump into the water outside to cool off, only to feel Sea Hawk gently wrap his arm around her before she could make up her mind.

"Misty, dearest," she heard him say to her, his voice somehow even softer than before, "you don't know that."

"Yes I do." Mermista took a second to swallow the lump in her throat before facing him once more.

"That's how life _works_ , Sea Hawk. No one ever _stays_. Eventually, everyone leaves, whether it's by choice, or..." she trailed off for a moment, her last memory of Entrapta briefly dancing before her eyes as if to taunt her, before shaking her head and continuing.

"Either way, I'm tired of not having a say in how it happens. For once in my life, I... I want to say goodbye on my own terms." She turned away from him then, hesitating before finally slipping out of his hold and making her way towards the cabin door. 

She had just reached the door and was about to open it when Sea Hawk responded; the sound of his voice made her stop in her tracks.

"Alright."

A moment passed before Mermista suddenly turned back to face him.

“‘Alright’?"

She could feel her heart pounding in her ears.

"That’s all you’re going to say?” she demanded as fresh tears began to slide freely down her cheeks.

Why wasn’t he mad? Why wasn’t he _heartbroken?_ Mermista felt her cheeks grow hot as she suddenly wondered if, just maybe, she had actually cared for him more than he had ever cared for her.

Fuck. Was she really _that stupid?_

“I am literally _breaking up with you_ right now, like, _for good_ , and you’re not even upset?” she continued, her voice getting louder and louder as she felt her heart start to splinter in her chest.

"I never said I wasn't."

_"Then why aren't you trying to stop me from leaving?"_

Her heart froze in her chest as she realized what she had just said out loud. She let out an involuntary gasp then before sinking to her knees. Suddenly, she was on the ground, and she was _sobbing_.

Sea Hawk wasted no time in rushing to her side, lowering himself to the ground before pulling her into a tight embrace. Mermista didn't fight him; instead, she buried her face into the crook of his neck, her hot tears pressing into his skin. She could feel him tighten his hold on her as she continued to shake in his arms, and before long, she became enveloped in his familiar scent: sea salt and smoke and a hint of citrus. Sea Hawk began to stroke her hair then, his fingers gently weaving through her teal locks. His touch was extremely comforting, and eventually, Mermista's sobs began to lessen until finally, she was able to let out a shaky breath.

Sea Hawk pulled away slightly then, just enough so that he could glance down at her. 

"Dearest, I'm not going to stop you from leaving if that's what you _want_." He seemed to hesitate then, something that Mermista wasn't used to seeing him doing, before continuing.

"Is that what you want?"

The question lingered in the air between them for a long time- a great irony, considering that Mermista had never known the answer to a question so fast before. Finally, at long last, the Princess of Salineas silently laid her head down against his chest, and Sea Hawk, now knowing what her answer to his question was, leaned down slightly so that he could softly press his lips to her forehead.

They stayed there on the cabin floor for a while, neither one letting go of the other. Finally, Sea Hawk's body shifted slightly, and Mermista lifted her head in response to the movement before looking up at him.

"Doesn't it ever scare you?" she asked him quietly. She let out a gulp before continuing.

"The uncertainty of it all, I mean."

Sea Hawk seemed to contemplate this for a minute.

"Uncertainty can be frightening."

He paused for a moment, a rather thoughtful look on his face, before continuing.

"But uncertainty can be an adventure, too."

He gave her forehead another kiss then, his lips warm against her skin.

"And you know I'm always up for an adventure."

Mermista mused over his words in silence for a while. Finally, she let out a deep sigh, one that had traveled through her body like an ocean wave before escaping from her lips.

"Can we go to bed?"

Sea Hawk nodded in response. He helped her up off the floor then before taking her hand in his. The two of them quietly made their way to the v-berth. Mermista let go of his hand, somewhat unwillingly, before climbing onto the mattress; Sea Hawk sat down beside her a moment later.

"Would you like me to braid your hair? I remember you saying you sleep better when it's pulled back."

Mermista swallowed.

"I didn't bring any hair ties."

Sea Hawk smiled at her then before reaching into his pants pocket and pulling out a hair tie; Mermista felt her breath catch in her throat for a second at his thoughtfulness.

"Since when do you carry hair ties on you?" she asked once she could breathe again.

"A good sea captain has to be prepared for anything, dearest."

Mermista silently contemplated this as Sea Hawk went behind her and began to weave his fingers through her hair once more. Once he had tied the braid off, he gently laid it across her shoulder.

"There."

He shuffled back to where he had been sitting earlier before meeting her gaze.

"You should get some sleep, dearest."

Mermista nodded slowly, and Sea Hawk reached out to take her hand, giving it a quick squeeze.

"I'll be right back- I'm going to go lock the cabin door." He let go of her hand then before getting up; Mermista watched him go, reminding herself all the while that his absence would not be permanent.

Still, when he failed to return to her after a few minutes, she felt her chest begin to tighten once more.

"Sea Hawk?"

No answer.

Her heart pounding in her chest, Mermista got up from the bed and made her way to the main part of the cabin. 

A feeling of relief washed over her as her eyes landed on him, only to be replaced by a feeling of confusion a moment later as she realized that Sea Hawk was crouched down on the ground, reaching under the sofa with one hand.

"What are you doing?"

Sea Hawk glanced up at her, the look on his face somewhat apologetic.

"It appears we have a little stowaway, dearest."

Before Mermista could ask what he had meant by that, a tiny meow came from underneath the sofa, answering her question.

"I must say, I hadn't realized that she'd taught herself how to open doors." Sea Hawk chuckled a little then before turning his attention back to their unexpected guest. 

"Come on, Sailor. Come on out." After a minute or so of coaxing, a fluffy brown and white cat emerged from under the sofa. Sea Hawk quickly scooped the feline up in his arms before carrying her over to the door.

"Alright, lass. Off you go-"

"Wait."

Sea Hawk turned back to face her.

"You should let her stay."

His lips curled up into a small but knowing smile then, and Mermista felt her cheeks grow warm.

"I mean, it's probably more comfortable in here than it is out there," she quickly added. 

"Alright, dearest." Sea Hawk set Sailor down on the ground; the little cat darted past Mermista's legs then, making a beeline for the v-berth. The sea captain chuckled again before locking the cabin door and going back over to the princess. Mermista found herself reaching out to take his hand, and the two of them walked back to the v-berth in comfortable silence.

Sailor was already curled up in the triangular corner of the bed when they arrived. The feline watched with half-closed eyes as Sea Hawk and Mermista climbed onto the mattress, settling into a spooning position. Sea Hawk wrapped his arms around her then before gently nuzzling his face into the crook of her neck.

"Goodnight, dearest," he murmured, his voice almost impossibly soft now. "Sweet dreams."

Mermista breathed in his scent once more before finally closing her eyes.

"Goodnight."

Maybe caring didn't always lead to pain.


End file.
